Italy Post 05

Miss me? Okay, bad joke.

Friends... I apologize. When I posted the newspaper documents about the hospital, which I had stored on my (supposedly) super-triple-secure hard drive, I didn't realize that I'd been HACKED. Yes, the hacker was hacked.

Is it because I've had to hide so much intel in corporate websites to disguise them amongst the advertising (lesser of two evils, folks!)? Is THAT what allowed someone to open a back door in my security system?

Sad truth? I don't know. I've been running every plausible and implausible scenario through my head. And, still, I'M NOT SURE. Whoever did this... was GOOD. I've redoubled my security and established a new protocol in uploading. I pray it doesn't happen again.

I will say this: as soon as I realized, I rushed to correct the error and upload the REAL EVIDENCE for you guys (I knew it wasn't safe, but I HAD to get you the latest on the Helgus Antonius)... and to get out of harm's way.

I've been bouncing from location to location, not sleeping, not breathing, trying to repair my computer in the process.

Upon further inspection, I saw the damage was pretty extensive. I don't know WHO did this, whether it was The Hanso Foundation or not. With all the fake Rachels posting out there (you know who you are), and with all the people putting up their own fake evidence/impersonating others (you REALLY know who you are) to mislead you guys and possibly discredit me, I can't hope to ever know.

But know this: I RESPECT you guys. You're my rock in all this madness. I can see from your comments, whether they're angry, concerned, defending me, questioning me, that the momentum is building.

We've become a great force here, and I'm gonna have to rely on people like (and I KNOW I'm leaving off a TON of people, here, FORGIVE ME, I wish I could list you all) LHorse007, desolation jones, Dedjezter, Garthazoid, Weezknight, amlocke, Ange, TEAM Lena, Matt the Pale, nelbot, maven, Tresbien, lost_grrl, vexingmodstwo, Ms O, marcusallencooper, wizardry_eas, toaster 758, hagbard celine, fenris, and all the THOUSANDS OF DEAR FRIENDS I can't name here to come together and keep the struggle against The Hanso Foundation going.

Because, more and more, the tighter the noose gets, the closer they get to me, I'm realizing there may come a time when I can't.

Let's not turn on each other. I promise you, my SILENCE the last few days has only been to ensure my own safety. And I pray you'll continue to TRUST that what I'm doing is not a choice at this point. I can't turn back and let Mittelwerk succeed, or I'm afraid we'll all suffer.

Thank you for being ever-vigilant.


Now, back to Sanremo:

You know that Geronimo Jackson tune? It goes - "She left me on the boardwalk/With my head held in my hands..."

Well, it's been running through my head all day, over and over, and over. This place feels like a ghost town.

The Hanso Foundation people left almost four days ago. The Global Welfare Consortium execs followed suit. Despite my best efforts, Valenzetti remains untraceable. And, as you know, a certain ship has most definitely sailed.

I read the suggestions from Chucklez3 and others in the comments and checked with the harbormaster - between, him, me, my broken Italian, and his broken English, I've come to the conclusion that the Helgus Antonius is a phantom ship...

...because, despite the bribe money I dropped on him (was nice knowing you, Widmore severance package), the harbormaster didn't waver in his account. Not even for a second. The Helgus Antonius never ARRIVED in Sanremo, and it never left.

Maybe they should've called it the Alvar Hanso.

He must have been intimidated, and good.

And what's with that name? It seems symbolic to me, symbolic of Mittelwerk's intent. If misterfrosty and pilferk are right... if it means The Holy Flower... I don't know, but something in that frightens me very deeply.

Or what about this "St. Anthony" theory Rorschach and so many others are discussing? "Patron Saint of Lost Things?" What could Mittelwerk be trying to find?

Does it mean something else entirely? Nothing???

It's frustrating, to come this far... To follow Mittelwerk to Italy, to find out whatever the hell he's doing somehow involves this Valenzetti Equation, to see him receive these bizarre medical treatments and inoculations in preparation for it...

...just to have him slip away again.

So friends, where does that leave us? Where do I go now? Do I just give up? Or does somebody else have the answer?

I deserve to know this... It's my right to know this!

GidgetGirl... are you out there?